Learn To Value Your Opinions More

This week we are going back to a topic we covered a couple of months ago about defending ourselves too much rather than valuing our own opinions. If you need a refresher or are jump starting your day, click here to listen to the episode from January 9 titled “Learn To Value Your Opinions More”.

Every time you defend yourself for something you don’t feel you have to, you are limiting your belief in yourself.

You are lessening the positivity you have, the confidence you have cultivated, and your determination to grow begins to lack.

When these things happen due to constant defending within a professional or business setting, your will to be a high performer declines.

More often than not in the professional workplace, we are faced with the decisions to allow others to overshadow our opinions and hard work, leading us to defend our opinions and understanding of situations. However, we can choose to stand by our opinions and our hard work because we value it while also learning from the information shared by others.

Why does it always have to be if one person is right the other person is wrong. Don’t both opinions provide value and a learning experience?

The more we get caught up in constantly defending ourselves, the more we begin to lose a bit of our integrity and strength. We are all given the choices to stand up for ourselves or to be bullied into giving into the other “right” person; which are you choosing?

Now with that, working as a team in a professional environment is extremely important and our opinions will not always be right. Growing, developing, and proving ourselves as determined and intelligent comes from learning from others and if your opinion is not always chosen to be the “right” one, determine if it is because you are not being valued or if it is more so a decision made amongst a group of leaders and individuals. Sometimes our opinions or the information we share isn’t WRONG in factual ways but may just not be right for the situation at hand. And that brings a learning lesson! Always take situations as learning lessons.

The important thing though is that you communicate effectively with your coworkers. Share your opinions, show your intelligence on a matter and the value that you bring. If your opinion is not “selected” as being the correct one time around, continue to remain strong and your value will be appreciated.

It is when you continuously defend yourself and apologize for having a strong-willed mindset and a high performers work ethic that your confident mindset will begin to wither. Remember, growth and development of leadership and high performance skills is what you constantly want to strive for; remain steadfast in valuing your own opinion, while also respecting others’, and you will feel more confident day by day.

If and when you defend yourself, why are you doing it? Are you embarrassed to stand up for what you think and belief? Are you intimidated? Usually when we are forced to defend ourselves, we are left feeling insecure and knowing that we aren’t exactly being true to our genuine selves.

When defending ourselves becomes a recurring event, we are unable to truly grasp the understanding of the importance that valuing our own opinions has. When we remain steadfast in the belief that our opinions matter, we choose to not let others ‘win’ for the sake of winning; we choose to grow not only individually but as a team.

Week after week we learn that growth comes in all aspects. Professional settings, with family and friends, individually-growth comes from understanding that standing our ground with our opinions does not mean that we are letting ego creep in and have to always be right. It means that we value our opinions, our knowledge, and the intelligence we want to share with others.

To learn more about honoring your own opinions and how to defend yourself less, listen to my podcast episode “Learn to Value Your Opinion More” from January 9 by clicking here. And please take a minute to rate the podcast if you have been enjoying what you are hearing or have specific topics you would like to learn more about. For iPhone users, go to your Podcast app, search Change by Choice, and click “Reviews”.

Thank you for tuning in and for always striving to live a life of high performance.

Are Your Successes Clouded by Mediocrity?

Living a mediocre lifestyle can be suffocating; constantly desiring growth and ‘more’, only to remain in place and complacent with where you’re at. It truly takes an honest conversation with ourselves and accountability of our actions, our goals, and our motivation to move out of said lifestyle and into one of forward motions. Accountability leads us in this direction and without it, growth and advancement out of mediocrity cannot happen. Jump ahead to my podcast episode on mediocrity from February 7, 2016 if you’re short on time and would rather listen!

I like to think of being mediocre as also being complacent. Going through the motions of our daily lives without quite dropping the ball but also without any sort of growth.

In our relationships, our careers, our health-complacency attacks any and all heightened advancements.

Think about a promotion you may be hoping to get. Do you think you would get it if you remain mediocre in your work? Truthfully, probably not. That mediocrity and complacency will keep you getting anywhere close to a promotion.

The great thing is though, if you do find yourself lingering in the mediocre space, you can get out of it; you can grow and succeed. The first step though--change and remove yourself from the areas of our life that only allow you to be mediocre. Don’t spend as much time with mediocre friends. Don’t stay in a job setting that has a ceiling to success and a mediocre job description. Allow yourself the opportunity to be challenged and to constantly grow.

Where do you want to grow from mediocrity? Jot it all down in a journal, on your phone, or on some Sticky Notes. Wherever you want to grow from, record those points but also come up with a strategic game plan on how you will grow out of them and rise to the next level. Writing them down is one thing, acting on them is another story.

With every plateau of mediocrity comes a decision to change followed by actions on how to go about it.

Changes that you make do not need to be large and abrupt. They can be gradual, small changes that accumulate over time. And truthfully, the smaller changes will likely be the ones that last and develop.

Don’t hold back. Be truthful with yourself on what you want to improve but also be proud of yourself in the areas that you do rise to as well as for recognizing that you want more than mediocrity.

There is no reason to settle for mediocre when you can achieve success. Choose success!

For more details on mediocrity as well as some more in depth ways to grow from it, listen to the episode, “Mediocrity--Where Is It Showing Up In Your Life”, on my podcast, Change by Choice, by clicking here! The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.

Don't Rob Yourself of Productivity Time

How often do you find yourself saying you wish you had more time in a day? More often than not we are saying this because we’re using the time we have wisely. We all have the same amount of time in a day. 24 hours. Yes, some of us wake up earlier and go to sleep later, allowing ourselves to have more hours in a functioning or working day. But in the end, we all have 24 hours. Are you using the time you are allowing yourself to work in productively? Jump over to this week’s podcast to learn about time management with productivity by clicking here.

The amount of time you allow yourself to work, grow, learn, and produce great results is dependent on the effort that you put in during the hours of productivity. Are you using your time wisely?

Being busy is more than just having multiple tasks that need to get done; crossing things off of your to-do list. It comes down to the accountability and the clarity of WHAT you are using your time for and if you are using it wisely to move needles and to grow in a positive direction.

Think about your day, evaluate how you are spending your time, and ask yourself. Are you using your time wisely? Or are you wasting time with unnecessary and time-consuming tasks (ie. scrolling through social media, spending a lot of time in the breakroom, online shopping)?

Your day begins from the moment you open your eyes in the morning. Therefore, the productivity clock begins then as well. What is the first thing you do?

Do you hop out of bed eager to begin your day and immediately begin with things that will set your day in motion in a positive manner such as drinking 16 oz of water, reading personal development, journaling or meditating? Or do you reach for your phone, scroll through Facebook, check all your emails, and sluggishly get out of bed in a negative mood from what you read?

Our minds are sponges and what we open them up to begins a routine and a habit. Filling our minds with the news and negative images interferes with our space and our mindset. And a negative mindset truly affects our productivity and the disciplines we desire to set ourselves up for success.

As important as our minds are for improving and increasing our productivity, our bodies are just as important. The types of foods that we put into our body affect our brains and how they function. Are you immediately reaching for the caffeine and tons of sugar? Or are you opting for some lemon water before your coffee? Are you choosing to move your body--whether with a full workout, a walk, or even just some stretching? These habits will begin to set you and your day in a forward and positive motion that will aid in you being productive with all of your time.

In order to grow into our most productive selves, we need to begin to reevaluate our days and how we are spending our time. Choose to fill your morning hours with habits that will move you forward and will prepare your mindset to remain positive throughout the day. Save things like scrolling Facebook and Instagram, online shopping, and watching YouTube videos for after work hours--when you let them take over your working hours, you are giving yourself less time than you already have to be productive on the tasks that are actually needle movers.

Breaking old or bad habits is not an easy feat, and it takes time. Begin by changing one thing tomorrow such as not checking your emails first thing in the morning and slowly work your way up to the bigger changes. After consistency and devotion, new, positive, and lifelong habits will have formed and will last.

The goals that you have for yourself will require overcoming some obstacles. However, it is up to you to not let a lack of productivity and robbed time be one of them!

Listen to this week’s podcast episode by clicking here to gain a lot more insight on the sense of productivity and using time wisely. (on ITunes and Podcast Addict)

Why I Love Quitting...And You Should Too!

Would you consider yourself a quitter? I did a podcast episode on why I LOVE quitting on October 31, 2016 (find it here) and I want to revisit some of the content with you today.

For starters, you should quit doing anything that does not connect you to your goals. Business goals, relationship goals, personal goals, health goals--any action, or even relationship, that is keeping you from advancing toward those goals should be quit. Why? Because when you are choosing to advance in a healthy way towards improving your lifestyle, anything holding you back is getting in the way and is preventing you from doing just that.

The reality is, what we see in the future is really determined by our actions in the present.

If what you are currently doing is not bringing you joy or satisfaction currently, it is most likely not going to bring you joy and satisfaction in the future.

If you are considering quitting something, ask yourself these five questions:

Is it moving the needle forward for me?

Is it bringing great energy in for me?

Will it create a stronger future self?

Is it worth it financially?

Is it contributing to my family and our livelihood?

Every moment, every choice, and every task is connected. We cannot expel more energy in one department and less in another and expect the second department to excel and rise to the same potential as the first.

Progress, growth, development--all three require work.

Quitting something or choosing to move away from it does not mean that you are a “quitter”. Especially when you are leaving behind something that is bringing you down more than allowing you to grow and rise. It more simply means that you are making a decision to move in another direction that will propel you forward.

We are not all made to be able to accomplish everything we start out doing; we are not all going to be “good” at everything. But, we are all capable of trying everything if it sparks interest in us. So we start and we work hard. And if it isn’t needle moving, we quit and we move onto the next job, relationship, workout, goal, etc.

Life is truly not long enough to remain complacent where we are at. What’s the point?

The more that you begin to make decisions for yourself based off of growth and positive transformation, the easier and more comfortable you will be making difficult decisions and “quitting” things.

Everything revolves around choices and I always want to encourage you to make choices that move your needle forward. With as much talent, capabilities, and strength as you have inside of you, you must learn to make decisions for yourself based off of advancing forward in life. Choose to live and surround yourself with joyful people, by positive situations, and by growth and obstacles that lift you up as a person.

Not only will “quitting” something that is holding you back improve your livelihood, it will improve the livelihood of those that you surround yourself with.

For more about quitting, go listen to my podcast episode of Change by Choice from October 31.

Don't Let Yourself Fall into the Bitterness Trap

Would you consider yourself a bitter person? Most of us wouldn’t. But sometimes bitterness sneaks up on us without it being recognized. It begins to affect the way we think and respond to our daily actions but it also starts to affect our relationships with others and the joy we bring to them. Jump ahead to my newest podcast episode, “Don’t Get Sucked into the Bitterness Trap”, by clicking here!

Bitterness and resentment are involuntary feelings that begin to creep up on us over time. None of us wake up CHOOSING to be bitter. At least, I hope not. ;) But that doesn’t take away from the fact that bitterness does still sneak up. What’s important is that you learn how to recognize when it is arising so that you can put a stop to the feelings before they get too strong.

Let’s reflect on something for a bit, not everyone has the opportunity to work in a career that ignites them and leads them to passion daily, at that’s okay! Is that you? Do you want it to be you or are you perfectly content with going to work, doing your thing, and seeking passion elsewhere? That’s all okay too! But for those that do wish they could be in a passionate role and aren’t, but see others they know that are, bitterness can arise. And if it does, it is time to reevaluate your goals and passions and if you are choosing to take a gamble on those passions or if you are going to choose to remain in the resentment zone because you aren’t quite ready for the work.

Bitterness and resentment work hand-in-hand together. They join up and become a deep, black hole that we all can get stuck in. That thought you have of your coworker getting a raise or a promotion and how you should have gotten one instead of them rather than a joyful feeling of excitement for them...you know that one? That’s bitterness. It’s also envy. And those two emotions culminating together bring on resentment. Resentment of your coworkers, resentment of your boss, resentment of your work environment, and even resentment of yourself and your abilities. If we allow bitterness to, it will take over our minds and our lives! It will begin to take over the happiness that we deserve to have. Especially when it becomes bitterness that we bring home with us.

Choose to avoid letting bitterness creep in. It is a process, and one that may make time for those of us that have been or are stuck in the trap, but it is a process that is worth it.

Begin by slowing the process of thinking and feeling down and listen to your feelings. What are you feeling? Why do you think you are feeling that way? What can you work on and do differently to remove yourself from a negative mindset and grow into a more positive one? In times of eagerness to jump straight to bitterness, pause to ask yourself those questions and reflect on your feelings and what your gut is telling you. That process is called self coaching. And  self-coaching is what leads us all to being able to make leaps and bounds of forward motion to moving out of any bitterness.

The choice to move out of the bitter darkness is up to you; nobody can make it for you. If you do not choose to remove yourself from negative thoughts that create envy, bitterness, and resentment, you will get stuck there and it will culminate more and more over time.

Ask yourself, where do you stand? Are you feeling bitter and want to move out of it? Listen to today’s podcast to dive deeper into understanding the bitterness and how you can transition out of it.

You deserve to be able to move out of the bitterness and into your own joyful, peaceful, and gracious life!

Are Your Fears Holding You Back from Success?

We’re talking about fears today; how they hold us back from accomplishing and moving forward with what we want and how they truly keep us from all growth. To jump to my newest podcast episode about this topic, click here.

Firstly, when it comes to understanding and accepting our fears, we have to be aware of them. We have to be able to recognize not only what we are fearing but also why we are fearing it. It starts with how you can gain this awareness Do you understand why fear is coming up for you? Does it stem from a lack of clarity?

Fear and vulnerability go hand-in-hand together and when they’re in full force, they work against us and our goals and desires to move forward. When we through our own thought process into the mix, we get stuck in our own heads and truly are STUCK from advancing forward in all aspects. When we get stuck, we begin to fear the work that it will take to make us unstuck, and when the fear starts, it grows rapidly.

Next, let’s talk about how to move forward from your fears. You have to be able to separate yourself from your fears in order to move past them. Are the things you are fearing worth your thoughts? Are they things you cannot move past? If they aren’t, coach yourself through them. Remind yourself that you are stronger than your fears and that you can work past them. Become aware to step out of your comfort zone and build up the consistency to do the work! Are you willing to work for the courage?

Courage requires nurturing. It requires constant work and effort to increase and improve it. And more than anything, courage only increases when we face fears.

Think about a fear that you have faced in the past. How did you handle it? How did you move through it? And most importantly, how much more courage did you have after thriving through those fears? I could bet that you came out more courageous.

You became aware and you found the courage to work through the fear, lastly, comes the follow through. How are you going to continue to push through and grow through the awareness and the fear? How are you going to shift your mindset into a more positive, daring, and exciting place rather than the place of playing small? If the place you’re in is comfortable, it’s time to move past those comforts to truly learn and understand all you can achieve and all you can do to grow into your best self!

The follow through is where we continue to escalate and grow; it is where we should want to be living daily. The follow through is where the magic happens. It is where all of our best work comes from, especially when we worked through countless fears to get there.

How do you work through the three steps of awareness, moving through your fears, and following through after the fears, to grow daily?

To head to my podcast, Change by Choice, click here and listen to this episode as well as others.

Four Disciplines for Success

Feelings of overwhelm are not uncommon in the professional world, especially for entrepreneurs. But the way we choose to handle the overwhelm is important. Like all other choices we make, creating habits for positive choices is what is going to guide us to lasting developmental growth when the overwhelm strikes. Learning how to implement these lasting habits will guide you to creating more peace--and I know peace is something we all need a little bit more of.

One discipline and lasting habit I want you to begin to implement right off the bat is the ability to say “NO”. When you are able to say no to people, requests, and adding things to your schedule, you will be able to find more peace. And trust me, saying no does not make you look bad. Especially when you are firm with your reasoning and beliefs--how you choose to schedule your time is up to your and determines how your day will go. Chances are you worry about saying no to doing ‘more’ more than you should.  And that worry ironically creates more overwhelm in us rather than just saying no would have. We are now forcing ourselves to do something unpleasant and something we know we don’t want to use our time on just because we did not want to be honest in saying no. Saying no creates more freedom, more peace, and more genuine happiness; all of which help us to avoid being bitter.

The reality is, your choices and the decision to learn how to use your voice with grace and genuinity will create so much more peace of mind and peace in your day. Therefore, eliminating the overwhelm.

Think about this when you think about your morning routine as well. Is your morning routine chaotic? For most of us, that’s a yes. Creating a peaceful morning routine is another discipline that is important to adopt. Checking social media in bed, watching negative news, going through our emails before even sitting down for work...these are bad habits that will continue to create overwhelm in our days. I promise you if you begin to change your morning routine and take time to read something positive, journal, meditate, drink some water, or listen to peaceful music, your entire day will start off and continue in a peaceful state.

To tie together being fierce with your time in saying “no” when appropriate and creating a more peaceful morning routine, one of the best ways to learn to do both is with blocking out your time in your schedule. You may have heard me talk about “brain dumping” a time or two before and what I mean by that is literally dumping everything in your brain out onto paper. Get it out! And as you do, you are able to schedule your day appropriately. Everything does not have to be done in one day, try spacing it out according to your schedule. By doing this and by blocking out your schedule according to how you want your day to flow, your mind with be more at peace.

Lastly, one of the biggest disciples that I think we can all be better at is owning our night routine! It is JUST as important as your morning routine. Shut off your electronics early, try meditating to calm your mind, journal about what you’re most grateful for; when you begin to implement a more calm and serene routine before going to bed, not only will you sleep better but you will awake calmer and more well-rested.

Being disciplined with yourself is one of the most important things when growing as a business professional and these four habits are a great place to start in heading in that direction. To learn more about the four disciplines, click here to listen to my most recent podcast titled, “Choose to Grow Through the Overwhelm.”

Learn From Your Struggles

Do you allow yourself to struggle? Or do you cringe at the thought and then avoid it at all costs; therefore avoiding your true feelings. For most people, struggling is not something they understand nor that they want to go through. So they ignore it and avoid it.

It’s when you reflect on your struggles and WHY you’re struggling where the growth comes. Honoring the struggle takes practice though. It takes allowing yourself to truly feel the emotions you’re going through and to let yourself think about why you’re feeling them.

Because of my experience and knowledge with High Performance coaching and mentoring, it comes naturally to remind myself to honor the hard times that come. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy. It still takes work and generating a positive mindset, even when that is hard. And that work takes time and dedication.

Honoring the struggles I go through has taken years of practice but I am now able to coach others on the importance of using struggles for growth purposes.

In an episode of my podcast, Change by Choice, I talk about the process of honoring the struggle and that the tough times are necessary for us to find the joy after the struggle.

I touch upon the importance of absorbing the feelings of struggling rather than putting up a front. When you learn how you can honor the struggle and the defense mechanisms that make come from struggling, you can learn and truly grow from them.

Do you know what your defense mechanisms are? We all have different ones that our subconscious turns to in times of struggle. But the thing about defense mechanisms is that they can only work positively for us if we honor them and not let them overwhelm or hinder our relationships with others and ourselves.

One of the most important aspects of learning to honor the struggle is understanding that the struggles we face are exactly that, learning processes. We will struggle, it is a fact. The only way we can avoid struggling is by not working or living up to our potential. So WHEN we struggle, how are we going to learn from it and honor it?

For starters, it’s important for us to recognize what it is we’re struggling with. When we are able to recognize the exact thing we are struggling with, we are able to pinpoint what needs to be done in order to grow through the struggle.

Each struggle we run into is actually an opportunity for us to grow and improve our skill set. It’s within these struggles and the process of honoring them that we are able to become more positive, more apt, and more conscientious of working with others and even with understanding their own struggles.

So what learning lessons have you gotten about business or life that have lead you to experiential growth?

Stop Complaining, It's Getting Your Nowhere.

I’m just going to come right out and ask, are you a complainer? Not really the most comfortable thing to admit to, but it’s important that if we are, we let our pride down so we can grow from it. Jump ahead to the podcast episode here if you’re short on time!

I’m also going to throw out there that nobody likes complainers.

We as business professionals know there is nothing worse than working with and for complainers. The negativity begins to bring everyone down and it makes work that much harder. Especially if we are leaders and/or managers, then this becomes the legacy that we create. What we allow, is what will continue.  We need to be role-modeling the behaviors that we expect from our teams.

Complaining naturally robs us of the joys and abundance in life. It is a prison and keeps us trapped from any sort of growth.

Complaining brings negativity into our life in more ways than just at work too. It prevents us from advancing in relationships and growth. It is a place where we become stuck and victimized! And when that happens, it is truly hard to break free.

The key from changing our habits as complainers though is by no means to disregard it or deny it. No, that is the LAST thing we should do; we have to let that pride and ego down. The key to changing and growing from it begins with choosing to own being a complainer and choosing to evolve OUT of it.

Just as everything in life is intertwined and connected, so is our mindset and emotions. If we are feeling stuck in a negative space within our minds leading us to complain and to hide behind our ego, chances are it is affecting us in other areas of our lives such as our relationships, our health, and our performance.

As most things in life require, taking ownership of our actions, our words, and our frustration guides us out of those negative feelings and leads us into a more optimistic attitude and environment. This piece is extremely important as business professionals and leaders.

Accountability, it is one of the most important characteristics we must have!

Being accountable and taking control of our actions is vital when it comes to advancing our lives and making the most of our journeys--in work and in play.

We are living the ONLY life we get to live. Being robbed of joy and abundance has got to be the last thing you want! And if you’re feeling robbed, now is the time to make some changes to your mindset for growth, clarity, and positivity.

Gain some more insight and some more details on how to grow out of being a complainer by listening to my newest episode, “DITCH the Complaining and Create More Joy and Abundance!”, on my podcast, Change by Choice, by clicking here! The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.

Are Your Living Your Truth?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

More often than not, as high performers, we think everything has to be all business and structure, all the time. But with all things in life, we have to be able to step away from the structure at times and celebrate the joy and the love of life!

And that is also going to be the direction we go with for this connection piece.

I want to start out with recognizing and touching on some self-love and reflection that Heidi Hanna, an author and experienced speaker talks about. She often talks about stress and the heights of stress that we all accumulate over time. She teaches that the biggest stress creator for us is pretending to be someone we are not. Interested in jumping straight to the podcast to give yourself some love? Click here!

How often do we run into this? I know I have. Especially as business professionals, it is easy for us to run into situations in which we think we have to do things differently or act insincere to ourselves in order to succeed according to other people’s standards.

When we aren’t authentic and genuine, when we are trying to be like someone else rather than being ourselves or if we aren’t listening to how our body is guiding us...THESE examples cause so much stress in our lives and lead to unhealthy habits. And they are the complete opposite of loving ourselves.

Loving ourselves requires so much more than just accepting ourselves. It requires taking care of ourselves, being our best selves, and owning ourselves. What does that mean to you?

As business professionals, if we do not accept and truly value who we are, it makes it difficult for us to value those that we work with.

Self-love and value encompasses everything we talk about here; the fitness, the eating well, the drinking water. But it also means the good quality sleep, the meditation, the reflection and journaling. Tuning into these areas allows you to evaluate and decipher where your stress levels are and what your gut and mind are telling you--it is these times and when you lie down for bed when you are able to truly accept YOUR truth.

And accepting your truth leads to understanding how you can better serve others.

Knowing and understanding your truth requires checking in with yourself and checking in with yourself leads to an increase in self-love. Self-love takes showing up for yourself, it takes accepting and being committed to your good and bad and the course corrections that may have to come.

Begin to love the process, trust the process, and enjoy the process of learning about yourself and your truth! The more you are able to jump into and learn about yourself, the stronger your self-love will grow.

And that, is a beautiful thing!

Give yourself some extra love and understanding today and listen to my newest episode, “Are Your Living Your Truth”, on my podcast, Change by Choice, by clicking here! The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.
 

Thank you as always for tuning in and for always striving to live a life of joy and high performance! Remember, #EveryStoryMatters and Happy Valentine’s Day!

~Charlotte xo

Mediocrity, Where Is It Showing Up In Your Life?

How do you feel about the word and definition of mediocrity? One translation of the word is: a state of mediocre ability. Do you think you fall into a mediocrity box? If that answer is a no, good. Keep doing what you’re doing and give yourself grace and peace with it.

If yes, do you hate living in the mediocre mindset but still haven’t been honest with yourself that that’s where you’ve been? Accountability is our biggest partner and without it, growth and advancement out of mediocrity cannot happen. Jump ahead to my most recent podcast episode on mediocrity if you’d rather listen than read.

Mediocrity comes in multiple points of reference.

Are you a mediocre boss? Just going through the motions of running a business at the bare minimum, never encouraging your employees to be their bests?

How about a mediocre employee? Skating by with your work just to say “done” and never really pushing yourself to work harder and to produce better work?

What about a mediocre friend or partner? Only showing up when it works for you?

Look at mediocrity as a limbo. Not quite excelling and yet not failing. Just...existing.

If you do fall within the mediocrity scale, the first step to changing and removing yourself from a said lifestyle is acknowledging it. Allow yourself the opportunity to truly evaluate where you are in your life and with your goals and be honest with how you’re feeling. Are you uncomfortable, dissatisfied, and feeling rejection and conflict--listen to those feelings and decide to grow from them and figure out a way to push through!

Begin journaling and auditing all of the things that you are allowing into and that are creating mediocrity in your life--if they don’t fit in with the vision you have for the life you want to live--let them GO!

Where do you want to grow from mediocrity? Record those points and also come up with a strategic game plan on how you will grow out of them and rise to the next level.

With every plateau of mediocrity comes a decision to change followed by actions on how to go about it.

Changes that you make do not need to be, nor should they be, large and abrupt. They can be gradual, small changes that accumulate over time. And truthfully, those changes will likely be the ones that last and develop.

Have you ever arrived to a situation that you wish were completely different and decided to flip it around only to notice the plan backfired within a couple of weeks or months? The same with will happen with growing from mediocrity and changing your approach if you try to do too much at once. Bite of small pieces to change at a time and eventually you will reach them all.

As you begin to notice the changes being made and the generalization of creating more time and self care for yourself, you will begin to feel better! And you will want to continue to advance and grow in all aspects--mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, and in your relationships.

The major point--don’t hold back. Be truthful with yourself on what you want to improve but also what you are proud of. You work hard, you strive to be a high performer in life and you have a lot to be proud of! Relish in the positive aspects that make you proud and be okay with the mediocre things that you wish to change.

For more details on mediocrity as well as some more in depth ways to grow from it, listen to the episode, “Mediocrity--Where Is It Showing Up In Your Life”, on my podcast, Change by Choice, by clicking here! The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.

Thank you as always for tuning in and for always striving to live a life of joy and high performance! Remember, #EveryStoryMatters.

~Charlotte xo

Where Is Your Energy Sucking?

Short on time? Jump straight to the podcast here. Using your energy wisely? Keep reading...

Everything we do requires energy--a proper mindset, our most healthy and fit physical self, our cognitive and high performing processes--without keeping our energy protected, we will suffer in those areas.

As high performance business leaders, energy is not something we can afford or want to lose. We thrive off of high energy and we usually see our best work when we are feeling our most energized.

But even still, we will run into times when we have less energy than normal and simply feel off and rundown.

No matter the amount of healthy, nutritiously dense foods we’re eating, the amount of water we’re drinking, or how often we have been keeping up with our workouts, eventually we all hit a wall. And you may be surprised to learn this reason why.

One of the main reasons we begin to lose energy is because we are always saying “YES”.

When we lose track of our time or we give it to another person by saying “yes” (even when we don’t want to and truly don’t have the time to), we are giving up our energy to someone else.

We all have the same amount of time in the day to focus, to work, and to take care of ourselves. But we all also deserve to take the time necessary to just BE; no thinking, no working, no stressing...just being.

But when we say “yes” to everything asked of us, we begin to tap into that time that should be devoted to doing nothing.

I know, as high performers it is difficult to do absolutely nothing and you are probably thinking I am crazy for proposing it but believe me when I emphasis that we will begin to perform at higher levels WHEN we do choose to say “no” to stress more often.

My mentor Brendon Burchard talks about this quite often. Especially when he says, “Stress is self-created...we can choose an internal calm and joy even amid the chaos.”

It is up to us to choose to take control of our time in order to make best use of our energy rather than letting it diminish by running ourselves thin.

We all have the answer to whether we should say “yes” or “no”. It’s called our gut!

When your gut is telling you that you truly don’t want to do something, whether it be work out or do something someone asks you to do, you should listen to it! Our guts are always telling us the right answers. And the repercussion of saying “yes” when we truly don’t want to? Losing precious energy that we don’t want nor that we deserve to lose. Our energy is ours. Choose to use it wisely and to spend it on things you really feel passionate about in your gut; the things that you know will enlighten you, educate you, and bring you joy.  

Be true and authentic to yourself and listen to your body along the way. Some people have more energy than others; consider giving more through quality of time and not quantity. Trust yourself, trust what you feel you do best with, and allow yourself to say “NO” to giving in.

Where do you hold back? Or where do you neglect your gut and say “yes” too often? Take this time to self-reflect on your energy and where and who may be sucking it out of you when you may not have anything left to give.

Listen to the episode, “Where Is Your Energy Sucking?”, on my podcast, Change by Choice, by clicking here! The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.

Master Your Communication: Part 1

Communicating encompasses far more that words between people. Whether in person, through email, over the phone, or even through text message; communication is the most widely used form of creating influence. It is also one of the most misunderstood. Short on time and want to learn about more effective communicating by listening instead? Skip straight to the podcast here.

This week I want to share with you how we can be better communicators. You may be saying, “I think I communicate perfectly fine.”, however, you THINKING you are communicating just fine is the point. Are you really getting through to the people you are trying to communicate with in an efficient, mindful, and practical way?

As business professionals constantly striving to improve and grow, it is vital that we not only understand proper communication but that we implement it.

If you thought about and jotted down a few areas in your life you want to improve on, this is the area that should be at the top of your life. Why? Because EVERYTHING stems from effective communication. We aren’t just talking about communication with our coworkers either. Advancing yourself in your relationships, professional career, and even with the relationship with yourself--communication controls how you will choose to move forward in growth. And it also delineates the advancements that you make as a business professional.  

Effective communication takes reflection and practice so that you can learn where you are being held back, how you can change, and how you will move forward. Communication improvement requires refinement and confidence.

What is your past history with communication? Think about it and write it down. Did you come from a house of yellers? Or of passive aggressive communicators? And are you continuing in that same approach now? Are you failing to communicate with your employees in as much detail and precision as you should be? Are you avoiding topics hoping they will just “get it”? Or maybe you are raising your voice at them more often than not. Evaluating and owning these qualities that encompass your communication will help you begin to connect the dots as to why you are the type of communicator that you are now.

Is the way you are communicating currently leading you to the results you ultimately want? Commit to improving yourself to improve your relationships.

Effectively communicating will guide you to being a strong influence. Remember, being an influence to others is a GOOD thing. It means you are leading by example and are inspiring others to grow themselves. And being a strong influence and leader will only create a stronger team.

Think about the hard communication scenarios. For example, talking to your boss about a disagreement or to an employee about a misstep; the topics that bring nerves to your gut. These scenarios will test your levels of communication and when you face them, think about these tips (we dig into detail in the podcast).

1. Take time to reflect before you begin the conversation. How are you feeling about the upcoming conversation? Are you ready to be having it or do you need more time? Are you emotional about the topic or the person? Start to think about the different angles and different outcomes.  

2. Be clear with the result you are working towards, and aim everything towards that result. Practice with your loved ones and ask them how your tone comes off. If they respond that your tone is positive and uplifting, great! If they tell you it comes off as a little insulting and demeaning, take that seriously and work on it. If you show up to a conversation with a negative tone, your conversation will be affected immediately.  This all being said, it is perfectly fine to be angry and communicate that anger, but you are in control with how the tone is presented.  Mastering communication means you are in conscious choice with each move you make.

3. Don’t be sucked in expectation, nor attachment to the outcome.  Communication is messy and everyone is coming at it from a different ideology and past. Your job is to relay the message in a way that is authentic, direct and is congruent with the result you would like to see happen.  Pay attention to your body language. Show the person you are talking to that you are open and entirely present! Make the person you are talking to believe that you are paying attention to them as if they are the ONLY person in the room. Master the skill of giving your full presence and undivided attention. Leave them feeling validated.

You are the only person that can control you, your relationships, your professional career, and your results. In order to grow as a high performer, you have to master yourself.

To listen to the newest episode of my podcast, Change by Choice, and to hear more on this topic along with the elaborated details and 3 of my tips on how to improve with communicating, click here! The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.

Kim Kelty Gorski: From Debilitating Fear and Possibility to Enlightened Belief and Thriving Possibility

Do you ever find yourself wishing you had more balance in your life? With your relationships, with your health and wellness, in business, and even with yourself? Balance is created and earned, it isn’t necessarily a given. And with a lack of balance can also come a pessimistic outlook and disbelief in oneself.

That’s something that my most recent podcast interviewee knew all too well.

Working around the clock as an high-level event planner, neglecting her health with food choices of pop tarts and a box of pasta, and leaving self-care as her last thought, Kim struggled with balance and confidence for years. It started and grew from her adolescence with a challenging family dynamic and succumbing to the neglect that she believed was normal. The submissive and tentative lifestyle and beliefs in herself didn’t stop until her twenties when she began to learn how much more she deserved; how much more she was ready to earn. She learned that she had the ability to change her mindset, health, and lifestyle and to surround herself by people of love and positivity rather than negativity.

She describes herself as a “former extreme pessimist to an obnoxious optimist.”

Kim Gorski is the CEO of the brand, Balance Over Perfect where she mentors women to find more self-love, learn how to be insanely productive, and share how health & fitness changed her life. She has worked hard to create a brand she is proud of and a system to help we women learn how to do it all, productively and without going insane!

Don’t shy away though, men! Kim is a high performer and advocate for helping all business entrepreneurs grow into themselves to find the best way to serve.

Changing her mindset to a more positive, courageous, and determined one took more time than one would think. It took Kim many years to come to the breakthrough moments where she finally thought to herself, “I will be more than this.”

Being a high performer in our lifestyles and businesses takes a change in mindset direction. It requires us to choose how we want to live our days and how we want to believe in ourselves and in others. Kim in a very vulnerable way shares the facts of what living a lifestyle where you have more self-doubt than you do self-acceptance is like. She is raw with us about what it takes to change your mindset to truly start to affect your life on a greater spectrum than just mediocre.

Woman or man, you do NOT want to miss out on this interview. Kim’s energy, positivity, and light are infectious and I guarantee you you will feel balanced and excited about life right after listening.

Access this podcast interview along with others here.

(on iTunes and Podcast Addict)

Remember, #EveryStoryMatters - and I can’t wait for you to hear this one!

~Charlotte xo

Stop Defending Yourself! Your Opinion Is The Only One That Matters.

How often do you find yourself putting up a defensive wall to others? Truly think about this and be honest with yourself. It isn’t easy, but letting go of the pride that keeps those defensive walls up is what will release the energy for you to grow and build in more confidence.

Constantly defending ourselves becomes limiting and debilitating. It leads us into traps of losing site of our own ambitions, goals, and direction. When we are defending ourselves over and over, we are letting other people’s opinions of us, our thought processes, and ideas, win.

I want you to think about the feeling you have when you defend yourself. Is it out of embarrassment? Insecurity? How about fear? Usually a defensive response comes with a pretty icky feeling of knowing you aren’t quite being your genuine self.

When we defend our words and our actions, our opinions, we are letting our fear of failure grow. Keep in mind, having a fear of failing is natural, it is a human instinct to be “afraid” of not succeeding. But it is when we let that fear take over and prevent us from moving forward that we get in trouble. It is healthy for us to create growth, satisfaction, healthy pride, and confidence when we abolish the fear and stand by our actions and words with belief in ourselves.

I want to touch further on this fear.

Let’s say you believe in a goal that you have for yourself for 2017. You have a fire deep in your gut that ignites and grows every time you think about succeeding in accomplishing this goal and the outcomes of said success but someone tells you it is a useless goal and that you will never accomplish it. Your response, “Yea, you’re probably right. I was just being pretty lofty so at least if I didn’t hit that goal, I maybe will hit another lesser one…”

Sound familiar to anyone? That response screams doubt and fear of failure.

And I like to call these doubts and feelings of fear “cracks.” We all have them. They are the parts of our mindset and our outlook that we are striving to strengthen and fill everyday. Filling these cracks with a confidence in ourselves and our actions leads us to grow into higher performing professionals.

And they also help us become stronger leaders to help others notice them in themselves as well. Remember, being a high performing professional means we are not just striving to improve ourselves but also the confidence and performance of others.

Wherever these cracks may come from, you have the capability and the opportunity to correct the course and to fill the cracks with positive personal development--such as reading, journaling, or listening to mentors’ podcasts.

I touched upon this topic of “cracks” a few times on my LIVE Facebook video streams this week and received a lot of positive feedback. If you want to connect more and want to catch the live streams, click here.

A defensive attitude and the repetitive habits of leading with fear and doubt rather than confidence and belief keep us from growing to be the best that we can be. They leave us living within the strains of mediocrity--the mediocrity created by our own mindsets.

When you learn to stand up for your opinions and to trust in your gut decisions, the cracks will begin to fill with a solid foundation. But they don’t fill on their own--they take constant self-work and improvement (learn how to work with me here).

In my most recent podcast, I discuss more about the problem with defending ourselves and how it hinders our success and growth process.

To listen to this newest episode of my podcast, Change by Choice, click here. The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict.

And remember to trust yourself and to trust your gut, your foundation is stronger than you may give yourself credit for.

~Charlotte xo

Five Tips to Increase Your Productivity by 10x!

Here we are! The first week of 2017 and the opportunities for the next year are endless. We have the ability to design this year to be exactly what we want it to be. The new year means a fresh start; a chance to create new beginnings or to continue with goals and growth from the previous year. Regardless of where you currently stand, you have the opportunity to begin designing the year that you want. 

And with that, I want to focus this first blog post on increasing our productivity and on living a life of high performance. How can you increase and improve it? Increasing your productivity takes evaluating the past year and where you grew and where you fell short. Learn more about working with me to implement a high performance lifestyle into your life by clicking here. 

Increasing your productivity and your growth takes an understanding that it may not all fall into place the first time. Creating habits of positive and lasting productivity will occur with the culmination of trial and error. You simply will have to learn what is right for you and what will help you become your most productive self. It is within the trials and errors that we are able to grow in knowledge of what we could have done better with and how we may want to do things differently the next time. 

Growth in productivity takes forward thinking and a perspective on your previous experiences in life and where you can and need to make changes in order to move forward. Do you evaluate your previous actions?  Are they leading you to being your most productive self? With each new advancement in productivity you make, it is important to reflect upon how you have grown through the process. 

When it comes to improving my productivity and the year ahead, I remain steadfast in sticking to my list of 5 tips. These 5 tips not only help me improve in everyday growth but when implemented correctly, they help me increase my energy, clarity, and productivity by 10x. If you're interested in receiving more tips than just these next five, click here! And those tips and the following aren't solely for the new year, these are for improving our life all together!

My 5 tips for improving your productivity, year, and life by 10x are: 

1. Take time to reflect on the areas that held you back from improving in the past. Evaluate these areas and create a plan on how to move past them in the future. 
2. Create more white space in your schedule and reclaim your morning! Give yourself more time to breathe rather than having a schedule so tight that you cannot spend time on yourself. It's in this white space where you find more clarity. 
3. Be accountable for the energy that you put off into the world. 
4. Change your mindset about your own health. Learn to put your wellbeing first! 
5. Learn how to say NO and learn how to love it! 

In my most recent podcast, I discuss the process of improving your life and increasing your productivity and how to clearly implement these 5 tips into your daily routine. 

To listen to the episode and to learn the 5 tips as well as how I suggest you add them into your routine, listen to my newest episode of my podcast, Change by Choice, by clicking here. The podcast is on both iTunes and Podcast Addict. 

~Charlotte xo

Starting to think about 2017? Start right here!

Have you made any New Years resolutions this year? 

Let's talk about that for a second. 

I hate New Year's Resolutions. 

Let me explain…What I AM against, though, is the whole mindset surrounding the "New Years Resolution". It starts in December; you throw everything out the window because you know January is around the corner and that's when you'll start making changes. 

Then January 1st arrives and it often turns into extreme behaviors for the first few weeks of the year; you're motivated, you're inspired and you're ready to make changes so you go all in and go really hard. The problem is that that's no way to live; a life of extremes - where you're either all IN or all OUT - can not be maintained long term. 

Nor should it be. 

Focus on the entire year of 2017. Write down how you want your life to look next year at this exact time. Then write down some meaningful, tangible goals that are going to help you get there. 

Don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for success. 

You need to realize and acknowledge the fact that it's not about a quick fix - it's about creating new habits to create lasting changes. It's about making the choice that you DO want change - but do you want change that is going to last for a few weeks? 

Or do you really want to change your LIFE? 

We also don't need all of the added pressure that those resolutions add to our lives. January is already a really difficult time for people. It's cold, it always seems dark, the holidays are over, our bank accounts are hurting, maybe we feel a tiny bit of guilt about overindulging over the holidays. The winter blues can be really hard. 

Make sure that you are seeking out ways to stay active this winter. Get out into your community and take advantage of the things it has to offer. Try something new that you don't normally do. Try a new class at the gym, sign up for cooking lessons, go ice skating, start a fun art project at home. The point is to keep yourself busy doing something that you enjoy. 

Try and focus in on eating healthy this month as well. If you're anything like me, your body is definitely craving wholesome, nutritious fuel after the holidays. And what you fuel your body with plays such a huge role on your happiness and mental health; when you eat like crap, you feel like crap. You become sluggish and tired and unmotivated and it gets really easy to fall into that trap of not wanting to do anything. Make sure that you're drinking lots of water and eating throughout the day. 

Want to hear more personal development and weekly tips on living your best life ever? My most recent podcast episode on Change by Choice touches upon the realization of resolutions not working and how we can make lasting, lifelong improvements  

You can listen to the most recent episode and all of the episodes here: (on iTunes and Podcast Addict).  

More tip to set you up for 2017 next week.  

xo~Charlotte

Productivity Hacks and How to Set Yourself Up for Success

Believe it or not, being productive is not a skill that comes easily to most people. Some people are born with the knack of staying on task and avoiding procrastination, and some people simply are not. 

One thing I want to clarify is that being productive does not mean running around, stressing, and trying to add more and more to our plates in order to feel like we are doing more. It’s actually the opposite! Being productive brings finding balance and clarity in what we need to get done and working intelligently to accomplish those tasks before moving onto something else. Have you ever heard of the phrase, “work smarter, not harder”? That is what I mean. When you work intelligently to accomplish the to-dos on your list and focus solely on that one task at a time, I can almost guarantee you that you will remain productive until you’re done! 

We’re creeping up to Christmas and are officially in the busiest week of the year. And it’s during times like this, with crazy, nonstop schedules and lists the only grow longer not shorter, where I believe we need to take a step back and BREATHE. I know, it sounds crazy but trust me!

In order for us to be productive with our to-do lists, holiday season or not, we need to be able to feel grounded and at peace. It’s during these times of peace and balance when we feel the best about ourselves and the situations we run into. We feel more energized, we have more clarity, and we have a more positive attitude towards all of the tasks that we have.

Can you relate to that? I know that for me, as a single mother, I find I am most productive when I am most organized and clear headed. And I have especially noticed it the past few weeks leading up to the holiday weekend. Sometimes it takes me sitting down, mapping out my thoughts and updating my schedule, and organizing the various obstacles I may have but even the time that it takes me to do that saves me time in the long run! 

Other than breathing and finding peace within the chaos, I also think it is very important to braindump! Yep, you read right. Brain-dumping is when we culminate a list of things we need to get done. Literally dumping the never ending, running, to-do list that is in our brain onto a piece of paper. This gives us the opportunity to delineate what tasks are urgent and must get done before moving onto anything else, which tasks are important but can wait, and which tasks are not nearly as important and could possibly be passed off to someone else to do. By doing this, we are able to feel more at ease and less high-strung. 

Once the brain-dumping has taken place and we have divided up the tasks by level of importance, we now need to block out time on our schedule of how and when we will fit them in. One very important priority of a High Performer is blocking out time for every tasks that needs to be done during the day. From major projects to when we will fit in our workout or a lunch break, by “blocking” the time directly into your schedule, you are creating a habit of diligence within productivity. 

Culminating groundedness, brain-dumping all of the tasks that need to get done and dividing them by levels of urgency, and then blocking out this time appropriately on your schedule, you will be left with a greater peace of mind as well as more free time to use accordingly. For me it will be extra time spent this weekend with my children and family. For you it may be the same or it may be to just sit and relax with a good book. However you choose to use the free time is not what is important. What is important is that you DO use it and that you work on creating it by being productive. 

On top of the above tips, remember to always fuel your body with nutrient dense foods and water, to exercise multiple times a week, and to get plenty of sleep. These are JUST as important in improving your productivity level as anything else. 

You can find more details about these productivity hacks and how to implement them into your life on my most recent podcast. 

Happy Holidays! 
xo~Charlotte 

Learn to Honor Your Struggle and to Honor How It Can Be a Positive.

When you think of struggling, what goes through your mind? I can imagine that it is more negative than it is positive. Usually struggling comes with stress, disappointment, and anxiety. Seldom does it come with honor, positivity, and grace.

However, it’s when we take a step back and reflect on the struggle that the growth occurs. Honoring the struggle takes practice. It takes a genuine and conscious effort but when worked on, it becomes a lasting and positive habit that brings growth.

Because of my experience and knowledge with High Performance coaching and mentoring, it comes naturally to remind myself to honor the hard times that come. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy. It still takes work and generating a positive mindset, even when that is hard. And that work takes time and dedication.

In my most recent podcast episode on Change by Choice, I talk about the process of honoring the struggle and that the tough times are necessary for us to find the joy after the struggle.

Relationships, work and careers, even the holidays, may cause stress or doubt in our minds which may lead us to defensively push back. It’s in these moments that we need to recognize what our body and mind are trying to do in a protective mode. When we do realize these things, we learn how we can honor that struggle and those defense mechanisms so that we can learn and truly grow from them.

Do you know what your defense mechanisms are? We all have different ones that our subconscious turns to in times of struggle. But the thing about defense mechanisms is that they can only work positively for us if we honor them and not let them overwhelm or hinder our relationships with others and ourselves.

One of the most important aspects of learning to honor the struggle is understanding that the struggles we face are exactly that, learning processes. We will struggle, it is a fact. The only way we can avoid struggling is by not working or living up to our potential. So WHEN we struggle, how are we going to learn from it and honor it?

For starters, it’s important for us to recognize what it is we’re struggling with. Is it learning a new skill? A serious conversation that needs to be had? Understanding that we are not being genuine or honest with ourselves?  When we are able to recognize the exact thing we are struggling with, we are able to pinpoint what needs to be done in order to grow through the struggle.

Each struggle we run into is actually an opportunity for us to grow and improve our skill set. It’s within these struggles and the process of honoring them that we are able to become more positive, more apt, and more conscientious of working with others and even with understanding their own struggles.

So what learning lessons have you gotten about business or life that have lead you to experiential growth?  

You can find the podcast episode here, I hope you enjoy it!

Meet Anna Renderer! She is going to inspire you to fall in love with as many things as possible...including yourself!

Have you ever felt that is was impossible to FALL in LOVE with as many things as possible…including YOURSELF? 

Well, meet Anna! She shows thousands of women how to fall in love with themselves!

I am so excited to announce that my very first podcast interview will be featuring the incredible Anna Renderer! Anna is the Host of POPSUGAR Fitness where she motivates over 900K subscribers on Youtube to stay fit. She is also the creator of the 7 day Fat Furnace and the Sexy Confident Woman Formula and is a Certified High Performance coach. Please stayed tuned as the podcast episode will launch on TUESDAY NOVEMBER 29th!

Through her Sexy Confident Woman Formula, Anna’s mission is to help transform women from the inside out. She has developed a 4 week course that teaches women how to build a foundation of self love, self care and self empowerment one step at a time, to become even more sexy, confident and unstoppable in life. Her passion is helping women become pioneers on their journey to design a life they love. 

Anna’s journey did not start out pointing towards success, she had to decide to choose it and faced some huge sacrifices along the way. She will share the details not only of the fabulous work she is doing today to empower and strengthen women, but of the journey she has taken to get there. From personal hardships, failed business ventures, and childhood adversities to how she moved through obstacles in adulthood, we will dig deep into how she began to change her way of thinking in order to become more positive and successful. 

I have had the pleasure of working alongside Anna, and working closely with her husband, Vito La Fata, for the last couple of years and I promise you - you will not want to miss out on this podcast interview!

Get yourself ready by accessing my podcast here: http://bit.ly/CHANGEbyCHOICEpodcast

(on ITunes and Podcast Addict)

#EveryStoryMatters - and I can’t wait for you to hear this one!

~Charlotte xo

To join my email list for most recent updates and high performance tips click here!