Before I became a High Performance Coach, I was getting coached...and I can remember so clearly, the turning point for me.
It came with the lesson on courage. That’s when something clicked in me and I really opened my eyes to realize that I was playing small in certain areas of my life. And it wasn’t about other people; it was about the bar that I had set for myself in terms of what I was settling for, what I was accommodating and what I was willing to tolerate in my life.
No one was forcing me to do that; that was me deciding to do that based on my need of something, based on how I felt about myself and based out of fear. I was playing small and settling for less than I knew deep down I was destined for.
And in that moment, the thought that came into my head was “If not now, when am I ever going to make a change in my life?”
I knew so deeply that if I didn’t make certain shifts and changes, and raise my bar for myself, that I would look back 10, 20, 30 years down the road with regret.
So in that moment, I started to make some pivotal shifts and changes in my life. And my life has drastically improved in all areas. I was clear on what I could achieve in my life. I was clear that I had something special within me. I was clear that I had the drive, determination and passion to get myself there. But without making those choices in terms of my bar and my self worth, then I would be stuck where I was, rather than growing and levelling myself up.
But in saying that, did I have to make some really hard choices? Of course.
Did it feel good? Did I enjoy the ripple that it caused? Did I enjoy the consequences that came as a result of my choices?
Not really….some of those choices stung like hell.
But I always honored myself in the choices I was making. And that’s where courage comes
I want you to think about your life right now.
Because we know when we’re playing small and not living into our best selves.
We know when we are not acting as our boldest self, our most courageous and integral selves.
It comes up when we hesitate before having certain conversations.
Or when we decide to avoid certain situations instead of dealing with them.
When we act out of fear, and we don’t leave that job or that relationship because we don’t want to deal with the consequences of it.
Or when we ignore that little voice inside your head that’s telling you you’re destined for MORE because you’re afraid of the ripple it might cause.
It’s when you think that just because you’ve made a certain choice in your life, you are obliged to stick with that decision for the rest of your life.
Are any of those situations resonating with you?
Sometimes we have to make hard choices. And those choices, and the consequences that often follow, can sting like F*#K. There have been so many situations in my life, even recently, where I’ve had to make some pretty strong choices. And it doesn’t get easier. The process of self-development doesn’t make your life easier; you just get stronger in the process. You become more equipped with the tools you need to bounce back quicker and you don’t let obstacles stop you from progressing in your life. If anything, the more personal development you do, the tougher it gets in certain ways; because you’re so much more aware. You’re not in avoidance anymore, you’re dealing with everything. In the long term, it’s fantastic. Short term? It doesn’t always feel good.
But I’m telling you...it’s so important to find that courage, take that action and most importantly, HONOR those choices that you make in your life.
Head over to my latest Podcast episode 38 and we’ll dig into this some more - why action and courage are so important, how you can honor yourself and your choices and why the this all matters so much in the first place. Listen here.
You always have the ability to change your mind. Sometimes we think that just because we’ve made a certain choice, we are all of a sudden stuck. But we fail to acknowledge is that sometimes time gives us new information; we see things from a different perspective after some time has passed. And it’s okay to realize that even though you’ve made a certain choice, you now need to honor yourself and make a different choice. You have permission to change your mind. It’s not about being flaky; it’s about honoring yourself. The worst thing we can do is to move forward with our original choice, even though we’re no longer feeling right about it, because we don’t want to hurt anyone, or look a certain way, or face the consequences.
What I’ve found to be true in these situations is that if you’re changed your mind on something, make sure that in making that decision you’re also communicating the WHY and the reasoning behind it. The worst thing we can do is just exit out of a situation without having the honest conversation because we don’t want to have to deal with it.
Sometimes we have to make hard choices. And in those hard choices, it doesn't feel good because there sometimes is that rath, that conflict, that ripple that happens that you have to deal with afterwards. Honor your choice. Because your life is about you. Whether or not the other person understands, how they will react to something and whether or not they will support you in your choices - that’s on THEM. All you can do is speak your truth and honor yourself.
Honor yourself for having had the courage to make a decision that wasn’t easy, where maybe you had to acknowledge that you were no longer aligned with something.
I want you to think about a situation that’s coming up for you right now. Maybe it’s already happened, that you didn't feel right about, or maybe you didn’t stand up for yourself, or you settled in the situation, or maybe you move forward even if it didn’t feel right. Start to think about what you could’ve done differently. How could you have honored yourself differently?
If you were to you challenge yourself to think if you were the highest, most courageous, boldest you, what would that person choose to do in your life? Everyone has to get to a place where their internal dialogue says “enough is enough. This is not happening anymore. This pattern stops here.” That’s the place you need to get to .
We’re talking about your life; it’s not about next week, or next year, or maybe you just don’t feel like it right now. If I told you that you had 30 days to live, what would you do differently tomorrow? If you started to operate from that place, I’m pretty certain there would be some huge shifts and changes in your relationships, in yourself, in your level of priorities, in how you show up in terms of integrity with yourself and other people and in the choices you make in your life.
Start living into the best of you. Not the comfortable you; being comfortable is a trap and it breeds us to be incredibly mediocre in life. Comfortable doesn’t feel bad, but it doesn’t feel great. And when you’re comfortable, you’re never fully challenged so you never really know how good it can get. You don’t know what truly is possible for you until you step out of that comfort zone.
It doesn’t always feel good. Having to make hard choices and be courageous. Taking action and listening to that inner dialogue instead of being driven by fear. Having those difficult conversations. Deciding after some time has passed that you need to make different choice because you’re honoring yourself and where you are at. That’s courage.
That’s my desire for everyone. It really truly is. Because the more people that we have happier in life, the more peaceful, more engaged, more successful we are as a whole? Our communities are going to shine brighter. Our kids are going to be stronger. We’re going to be more fulfilled. We’re going to stop searching for those bandaid solutions and the quick fixes, when really we’re never truly happy with the results they give us.
Something has to switch. And only you’ll know what that is for you and whether or not there’s something there for you. All is ask to write it down and start to explore it. Explore it with curiosity, with a playful nature, with love and compassion for yourself.