Goal setting is a huge part of my coaching - it comes up in nearly every session.
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When it comes to those long term goals - those 3, 5, 10 years down the road kind of goals - I see the SAME thing come up for people time and time again.
It doesn’t matter what kind of goal it is…
*change of career
*creating your own online brand
*launching a business
*changing your financial situation
*long term weight loss
*improving your family structure
I see a common thread explaining why people are failing to reach their goals. And it’s the same reason why I sometimes fail to reach MY goals.
It’s NOT because things get hard and obstacles get in the way; that’s a common misconception regarding our goals. That’s part of the natural process and that challenge is good; that’s what gets you to the next level of success in your life. Those obstacles aren’t the reason why you’re not reaching your goals.
And it’s NOT because we lack the clarity or the desire to get there.
The real reason why you are failing at reaching your goals - comes down to commitment and your ability to fully commit to that long term goal.
I am talking about complete, two-feet-in commitment. The kind of commitment that doesn’t waver when obstacles come up, when you start to lose that desire or your ego gets knocked down a few times. The kind of commitment that sticks through all the hard times and keeps pushing you forward. Because when you have that level of commitment, you just work through all of the other factors that come up in the process.
Reflect for yourself; how committed are you really to reaching your goals? If you haven’t been that committed, perhaps you need to switch up and reset some of your goals?
In talking about this “no looking back”, “two feet in” commitment, I do need to say this - my underlying message is always “you change by choice”. You choose commitment. You choose how committed you are to your goals. Just because you may have chosen to commit to something in the past, doesn’t mean you are stuck there for the rest of your life.
Because along the way, through this journey, you get clarity. You discover reasons why perhaps this goal or situation just isn’t the best alignment for yourself. You have the ability to choose authentically and intentionally to cut out things when they are no longer serving you. So yes, commitment is crucial to reaching your goals. But so is having the clarity and the grace with yourself to know when to make a different choice and commit to a different goal.
But here’s what I really want to caution to you. Make sure that if you are cutting something out, or choosing a different goal, that you are doing it for the right reasons - not because it got difficult, or your ego took a hit, or you don’t want to do the work, or you’d rather just avoid the feelings that are coming with it, but because it truly is not aligned with your morals, values and vision moving forward in your life.
Allow yourself to do an audit as to where you are currently at with your goals. Ask yourself the following questions:
*what are my most important priorities?
*where am I getting distracted most often?
*do my goals connect to my overall mission, purpose and legacy?
*what is truly holding me back?
*on a scale from 1-10, how committed have you really been to your goals?
The secret to this is that at any time - you can choose for that commitment to be a 10. And in my opinion, when you’re dealing with your goals, you’re either a 1 or a 10.
You’re either 2 feet in committed, or you’re not.
If you’re going to do something, do it.
Think about it this way - if you had to cut out everything that you weren’t at a level 10 commitment, what would you be left with? Because on the other end of that analysis and reflection is a choice - am I going to be fully committed or should I cut that thing off my place?
This connects to a bigger piece; your overall legacy and what you’re leaving behind. Because when you’re not fully committed to something, you aren’t doing your very best. You’re doing things at a mediocre level and just keeping things afloat. You’re not able to show up in the capacity that reflects who you are fully. Raise the bar for yourself. Aim to do your very best.
Remember, you change by choice. You have the ability to create the life that you want. It comes with hard work, intention, full commitment and lots of struggles and bumps along the way. Remember to honor the struggle and push through, and give yourself grace along the way.
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