Are you choosing to suffer?
In a recent podcast, I sat down with Dr. Diana Draper (to listen to E85 CLICK HERE) - Diana is a naturopathic doctor and after years of living with undiagnosed anxiety, depression and PTSD, she took a leave from practice in 2019 to create space in her life for her mental health and healing.
The incredible insights from Diana’s healing journey have inspired this week’s blog.
During our conversation we dove into the topics of joy and suffering - concepts that are often viewed as being complete opposites.
When we think of opposites we generally think of different than or not the same - I am here today to shift that narrative.
So to start, we need to get one thing straight:
Suffering is a natural part of life.
“And I think if we were better equipped with knowing that suffering is a part of life, life would be easier.
Like I feel like we’ve been really misled about the struggle within life, because we don't talk about it.”
So why don’t we talk about it? What is it about suffering that is so taboo?
Here is one theory:
If the desired state of being is joy, and we consider suffering to be the opposite of or different than joy, then we want as little to do with suffering as possible.
BUT…
Here is where that theory is wrong...suffering is not the opposite of joy (well at least not in the traditional sense).
Enter the Universal Law of Polarity - which states:
Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truth are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled.
--The Kybalion.
Which means that there are opposites, but to be opposite is actually to be of the same nature - just different degrees (think like a spectrum).
To give you a really simple example, one would likely consider that hot and cold are opposites (being different in nature) when in fact they are the same in nature, as they are both measurements of temperature, just on different ends of the spectrum.
So coming back full circle - joy and suffering are like hot and cold; they are inseparable parts of the same spectrum.
I can hear you thinking “Well that’s great Charlotte, very interesting and all, but that doesn’t prevent me from suffering.”
EXACTLY.
Because the point is not that we don’t suffer - just like the point is that we never feel cold (particularly in Canada in the winter). Even if we prefer not to, it will happen.
Because to know what it is to be hot, we have to experience cold.
To know what it is to be joyful, we have to experience suffering.
To know what it is to be abundant, we have to experience lack.
To know what it is to be strong, we have to experience weakness.
To understand the spectrum, we must experience it!
What is important then is that we set ourselves up to experience the suffering (or anything else that we deem “undesirable”) more effectively and shift our way back to joy - I talk a bit more about resiliency in an earlier blog (you can check it out HERE).
So how do we do this?
“To destroy an undesirable rate of mental vibration, put into operation the principle of Polarity and concentrate upon the opposite pole to that which you desire to suppress. Kill out the undesirable by changing its polarity.”
Long story short…
We choose joy.
And here is the great thing about life - we always have a choice.
Now to be clear, this does not mean we have a choice in what we get handed in life - we are not in control of the external factors. But we have a choice when it comes to our thoughts, our decisions and our actions.
We get to choose how we show up, always.
So why not choose to bring in more joy...
Because joy doesn’t pay the bills?
Because there isn’t enough time?
Guess what?
The bills will still be there whether or not you choose joy or suffering.
You have the same amount of time in which to devote yourself to joy or suffering.
The process will be the same, but where you land on the spectrum is up to you.
“I just wish that someone had said to me like, “Fuck it, do what you love because
you're going to end up where you are going to end up anyways if you're meant to truly
be there. So do what you love, so you can actually enjoy the process of being there.””
Not sure where to start?
Make a list of things that bring you joy - and incorporate AT LEAST one of them into your day, EVERY day. Make it a priority.
This does two things:
1- It literally brings more joy to the process, because you are adding something joyful to each and every day - notice how your day still looks mostly the same (the process doesn’t change), but now there is a little sprinkle of joy in it.
2 - By shifting the focus of your energy to the things that bring you joy, you start to shift the polarity or vibration at which you are operating - where our attention goes our energy flow.
Bring on the good vibes y’all.
And thank you Diana for an incredible, insightful, inspiring conversation - you can check out E85 HERE