A few months ago I sat down with Pam Fischer-Dale, a certified High Performance Coach and member of the Thrive Collective - a group of female experts that work to transform the way individuals and organizations lead.
You can listen to E76 HERE
Together we discuss the magic that exists when we take that metaphorical leap outside our comfort zone, and how the growth that occurs here leads to success. Our conversation was so inspiring that I wanted to share with y’all some major insights.
To start, I want to define what I mean by the term “comfort zone”...
Figure 1.0: Transform Destiny CORE Method Manual (2018)
The grey section in the middle is the “comfort zone”, and the line that runs along the length of the graph is an example of experiences or external factors in life.
Over the course of time there are a variety of experiences, those within the comfort zone and those that are outside of it. When we have experiences that are outside of the comfort zone, we grow (and our comfort zone grows with us).
What the graph does not show is that we can choose to stay within our comfort zone, or choose to step into the space outside of it.
Spoiler...
Choosing to stay within the lines sets you up for failure.
Because here is the reality…
Whether you like it or not, you are not in control of the external factors in your life - there will be experiences in life that are outside your comfort zone (both good and bad).
Let me give you a couple of examples:
Imagine you walk into work one day and you get called into the office - your boss tells you that you are unexpectedly being promoted to a position that you have been hoping for...cue the new role and new responsibilities that shift you out of your comfort zone.
On the other hand, imagine you walk into work one day and you get called into the office - your boss tells you that you are being fired...cue the unexpected unemployment that shifts you out of your comfort zone.
In either example, you are forced to navigate a new space, and thus your comfort zone expands. But because you did not choose to step into the space, the highs and lows are arbitrary - you are a product of your environment...cue the randomness.
BUT, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here is what I know to be true:
Success is not random.
It is an intentional choice.
So how do we become more intentional with our choices to grow?
Both Pam and I are certified in methodologies that have taught us how to actively and intentionally step into and navigate the spaces outside our comfort zones - and so, I want to share our learnings with you:
1- Be conscious.
Ask yourself:
Where am I doing what is expected of me?
Any answer you write down here indicates where you have a passive response to staying in your comfort zone - we choose to be here when we don’t want to upset others or do something that might be criticized.
If this is you, my challenge to you becomes:
Honor yourself.
It is your life, so live it on your terms.
It may still be hard, scary, uncomfortable...but damn it is so empowering.
2 - Be courageous.
Ask yourself:
Where am I backing down?
Any answer you write down here indicates a fear response to staying in your comfort zone - we choose to be here because the alternative is full of “what if’s”, and we are not willing to hold ourselves accountable to the outcome.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again...those “what if's” will never actually happen if you are always wondering what if.
Also...the outcome is always your responsibility, so why not have more say in the actions that lead up to it (this is what you can control).
And if you still aren’t convinced that taking the leap is worth it, I’ll leave you with this...
Success is linked to our capacity to grow.
Growth only happens when we are pushed past what we already know (ie. the space outside our comfort zone).
So you can passively and fearfully wait to be forced into growth, or actively and intentionally step into it.
Either way you will face highs and lows, but by choosing to take the leap you actively expand your comfort zone so that when external factors come into play you have already increased your capacity to handle it - think proactive versus reactive (again, success is not random).
So, as we shift into 2021 my challenge to you is - give yourself the permission to take the leap (in a way that feels good).
Thank you Pam for an incredible conversation!
You can listen to E76 HERE.