How much money do you make per year?
How much is your time worth?
How much will your sell your product for?
How much do you have invested?
How much did you spend on your house, your wedding, your car?
How much debt do you have?
How much money do you want to have?
NOT the typical questions that come up in our normal conversations.
Money is such a sticky subject. And it makes people so uncomfortable to talk about.
Frankly, talking about money just makes people act weird.
And it’s because, as a whole, we have a weird relationship with money.
I have been wanting to speak on this subject for such a long time and I’m so excited to bring you guys this latest episode of Change by Choice. Head over to my latest podcast episode where I dive into WHY we get so weird with money and how we can start to move forward. Spoiler alert → how you feel about money is tied to your mindset and how you feel about your own self worth.
Head here to listen now → http://bit.ly/CHANGEbyCHOICEpodcast
So - how is your relationship with money?
-Does it cause a lot of rifts within your relationships and your family?
-Does it make you uncomfortable with your coworkers?
-Does it make you resentful of your job or your boss?
-Are you afraid to set goals that include a financial aspect because you feel like your place in life is “stuck” where you’re at?
-Do you avoid speaking about money because you don’t want to sound superficial or braggart?
-Or maybe it was never part of the dialogue when you were growing up, so you feel uncomfortable talking about it as an adult?
-Does money stress you out because you feel like you always want more and never have enough?
-Do you hoard your money - too afraid to spend or invest in anything?
-Or maybe you have no boundaries with money and have no desire to save or be strategic with your money.
Wherever you are at - it’s so important that you move past it.
Whether we care to admit it or not...the hard truth is that money ends up ruining so many of the things that we desire the most in life. The most important thing being our relationships; if you have a strained or weird relationship with money, it can impact all other relationships in your life. It is staggering how many divorces are caused because of differences due to money; whether it’s a difference in thought process related to money, in how it should or shouldn’t be spent, in the stress it can cause when there isn’t enough, to the resentment and control and power dynamics that can come into play due to money.
Money is a sticky subject for sure. But for us to move forward, to feel comfortable setting strong financial goals, to improve our relationship with money and to eliminate the weird power that money has on us and our relationships - we need to shift our mindset completely.
We need to be able to see our personal value and worth within money.
We need to be able to talk about it openly without judgement, criticism or fear.
And we need to shift from a “lack mindset” to an “abundant mindset”.
The “lack mindset” is where money has all control; you feel like money is always tight, you never have enough. You always want more of it, but feel as though you could never get it. It’s full of fear, doubt and uncertainty when it comes to money. It causes stress and unhappiness and in this mindset, money has all the power over your life.
When we can shift into the “abundant mindset”, you become connected to the fact that it’s all going to work out. I’m not saying be naive to the point that you don’t pay your bills because you know “it’ll work itself out”. You still need to make start, strategic choices with your money. But here’s the difference; if you position yourself with the right actions, if you know your own worth and you trust in the process, money no longer has that power over you. It’s when your mindset becomes stronger than that control that money possesses over you. It’s when you feel like you want more money, and instead of saying “but I’m stuck where I’m at, it’s impossible”, you say “It’s totally possible. There’s lots of money out there and lots of people who are making tons of money all the tie. Why not me?”
Breaking free from the weirdness with money also requires acknowledging WHY you want more money, and being okay with it.
Your desire to have financial freedom does not define you as a human being.
It does not make you a bad person. It does not make you superficial. It doesn’t mean that you don’t enjoy the process and what you currently have; you can be happy in your life but still want more.
If that’s you - own it!
Personally, when I think of having financial freedom, it’s such a big goal for me because of all the other freedoms it opens up for me - freedom in my location, my time and my work. It gives me the ability serve and contribute in a greater capacity because I am not pressed with the uncertainty of my finances.
What is your why? If you want more money in your life, ask yourself why? There is no right or wrong answer here. Maybe it’s for more time to spend with your children, or maybe it’s so you can buy a fancy new car. We need to stop the judgement that comes with money; everyone has different driving factors in their lives. Own yours.
At the end of the day, it all relates back to our own sense of worth.
What is your worth, if you had to put a dollar value on yourself?
When you show up in a conversation where money is the focus - a new job, a raise, a new proposal or a conversation with your partner - do you have the ability to show up with strength and confidence because you know your value and your worth?
For myself, when conversations about money come up, for example when I’m submitting a contract proposal, I attach a financial outcome to my personal worth based on my experience and what I can achieve in terms of results. That number is relative to how I feel about myself, to what I know to be true about myself and the confidence I have in my abilities.
If you lack confidence in terms of your worth, then of course money is going to be a weird subject for you. Of course you’re going to come from a “lack mindset” where you feel as though you never have enough and can never get more. It starts with you. It starts with your confidence and sense of worth.
I want you to really think about this and acknowledge what’s coming up for you - where do you have weird hangups with money? Journal it. When you gain more clarity and awareness as to what’s coming up for you, you can start to analyze what is no longer working for you and what shifts you need to start making.
How can you redefine your relationship with money? What actions do you need to take to shift out of the lack mindset and into the abundant mindset?
Because here’s the truth - if you feel stuck financially, like you’re not worth enough and you will never make more money or get out of the situation you are currently in - that’s your mind telling you that. It’s not the facts. You need to get out of that mindset.
People make money ALL THE TIME. Lots of money. Every single one of us is capable of doing it. It’s not a certain type of person that can be successful. It comes down to the thoughts you have and the actions that lead you there. Do you have the drive to get yourself there?
Don’t ever tell yourself that it’s not possible. Wherever you have judgement, criticism, limiting beliefs or a limited thought process around your relationship to money - you need to own it. Write it down. And then redefine it. There should be no weirdness about what you want to make, how much money you want to have or what you feel you are worth financially.
Just remember to be happy and honor yourself throughout the process. Yes, money opens up lots of doors for people, but if you feel as though you will only be happy when you reach that financial goal, and you aren’t enjoying the process, then you have a lot of growth to do in terms of your mindset and show you see yourself in your life.
And I’m willing to bet that when you do reach that financial goal, you still won’t be happy unless you get the mindset piece sorted out.
It starts with your mindset, You have to get your mindset right so you can see how you need to move forward. We are not meant to live small. We are meant to have big, huge ambitions in life. But it starts with opening up those thought processes. Throw out what doesn’t work and start redefining and creating a path for yourself based on what you want to achieve in your life.
You start to do that, you’ll start to see things shift and change in your life.
For more content and all of my free tools and downloads, join the free Change by Choice Members Lounge → https://charlotte-ferreux.mykajabi.com/store/GCgCFewi