It’s been a really big week. I just got back from Anaheim where I was being recertified for High Performance coaching. We honestly have the absolute best community. This was my 4th recertification and hands down, this was the best one yet. I got way more than I ever thought I would gain from this last week; so much learning, so much growth and so many new relationships formed. I’m so fortunate to be part of that community; we are very connected and we all really help one another. That’s really what makes it so incredible. It always comes back to community; it’s so important for everyone to connect somewhere...a place that you’re being challenged to be the best that you can be.
It’s something we all need in life; it’s that constant reminder not to get too comfortable or complacent, but really to push yourself and to see what we’re truly capable of. Because when you push yourself, you start to see all of the ripples that happen into our lives and all of the amazing results that come from it. Relationships become more fulfilled, more genuine, more authentic. Our sense of self becomes more confident and more clear in terms of what we want.
I think back to the last 3 years and I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without this community but also the work that I do in terms of High Performance Coaching. We have the most rigorous training process in the world that is backed by scientific research. I’m so proud to be able to be part of it. I see it through the transformations that my clients have and the results they are getting in their life.
Now is the time. People are charging forward. We can’t just keep being how we’ve been and allow ourselves to get sucked into a place of mediocrity or complacency. It’s so important that we show up as our best selves. The world needs it. Our community needs it. Our families and our children need it. We all need it. Because we really do connect to everyone; how we show up really does matter.
I’ve shared in the past about my words; essentially, what 3 words describe the best of you? It’s something that we practice in High Performance coaching and something that I coach my clients through. Choosing 3 words that describe the best of you; not the you that you are right now, but the version of yourself that is the absolute best. I’ve had my own set of words for years, and as I’ve shifted and evolved, my words have changed. Head here to listen to my Podcast episode where I dive into this: http://bit.ly/CHANGEbyCHOICEpodcast
But I made a huge shift when 2018 started with my words. First, I changed my words. I actually have 6 of them; 3 describe my best self and 3 describe how I show up in interactions with people. The other shift I made was in terms of my habits. I started writing my words out every morning, saying them outloud and tapping while I meditate the words. This has been my consistent morning routine and I can’t even describe it; just by doing this shift with the habits and by being super consistent, I am literally living into my words every single day. I am blown away by the magnitude of change that it has created in my life, in my relationships with my children, in how I’m showing up, and in the confidence in which I speak and I share from.
You aren’t just how you are and that’s it. I sound like a broken record, but I’m going to say it again because it’s that important. You get to choose how you want to show up. You get to choose the type of person that you want to be.
Choose 3 words for yourself that describe the best of YOU. Choose words that are a stretch for you; words that don’t quite describe how you are yet. When you choose words that are a stretch for you, words where maybe you aren’t quite there yet, they remind you to push yourself to become that person in every situation. And over time, you really do start to become that person. You start making choices that maybe the “old you” wouldn’t have made before. It’s these small, simple tools that really help you expand and make different choices. I think back to some of the things that have happened in the last couple months, and the consistency in which I’ve shown up, I’ve kind of blown myself away. All it took was really focusing in on my morning habits and really being mindful of how I want my energy to be, how I want to show up each day and where I want my energy to be.
Don’t be defined by how you've been in the past or the situations that you’ve gone through or the level of confidence that you have right now. All of that can change just based on you shifting how you see yourself and how you want to see yourself. It really is that simple. You really are in control.
I encourage you to start to think about where are you playing small in your life right now. Is there something that you’re hesitating on that if you were to look back 1 or 2 years down the road, and if you didn’t take that step, would you have regret? There are probably choices that you’re sitting on right now, where you have a hesitation or you have a doubt. You’re holding yourself back from taking that step. Think about it, reflect on it. Journal about where it is that you hesitate. Where do you hold back? Where do you play small? What situations are coming up for you where inside, you’re thinking “yes, I really want that” or “I’d really love to say that”....but then you don’t. And then you leave those situations feeling regret and feelings of “if only I had…”.
Those are the moments that you want to recognize. Be mindful of those moments. Because in those moments - that’s where you need to activate your voice. And that’s why having a word that connects to your boldest, most courageous, best self is so helpful. If you’re the kind of person who often holds back, have that word be the opposite of what you would normally do. If you’re a person who’s sometimes too aggressive or too direct, maybe your word would be compassion, presence.
If you’re allowing life to control you, your actions, your thoughts, your happiness - then you’re NOT living into your best self. When you allow life to ping-pong you, you’re just going back and forth….whatever life throws at you, that’s where you go and that’s how you feel. You’re feeling happy, fulfilled and confident when life throws you good stuff, but as soon as life throws you challenges, you feel unhappy, frustrated, defeated, unsatisfied.
Why is it that some people can get knocked down, and have terrible things thrown their way...yet they still have this amazing ability to be positive and joyous and view those situations as experiences to learn from? Whereas another person could go through those same situations and for them, they feel as if their life is over and everything is terrible.
It’s because the first person has strengthened that mindset. They’ve done the work and they’ve taken ownership over their life, their happiness and how they want to show up.When you work through that and you build that strong mindset, then you’re able to move yourself out of those bad situations more quickly. You’re more peaceful, more joyous and you’re producing more results in your life.
And isn’t that what we all want? To go through experiences without taking things so personally, to be able to move through any situation with fluidity. To be able to show up for people with a beautiful, gracious heart, regardless of where you’re at. To be able to live free from the comparison or perfectionist trap. These are all things that you can start to move out of so that you can actually start to feel the freedom that you can have in life. It always comes back to the work that we do on ourselves.
You can play small and avoid going certain places in your life, or keep yourself too busy, or play a victim role in your life, allowing life to take control over you. Those are all things that might serve you short term. But long term, you’re going to have regrets there if you don’t rise up to meet the potential and that full capacity that you know you can. And if you don’t believe that you’re capable of more, then that’s where you need to start. Because you should know it.
I’m not saying life all of a sudden gets perfect, bad things never happen and everything is blissful all the time. I’m constantly working through stuff all the time; but my bounce back is quick. I can move through those situations quickly, with grace and acceptance and learning. I’m happy. I love the work that I do, I love the people in my life. But it’s not by accident. I’ve designed my life by choice because I recognize that I am in control of the person I am. I am in control of living into my absolute best self day after day.
If you have doubt in your life or if you’re just not on the right path, you have to start somewhere. Immerse yourself with personal development. And recognize that it’s a journey. Don’t get stuck in an outcome; trust the process. When you trust the process, it will lead you in the right direction and you will get the results you want. Sometimes, it’s not the results you thought you wanted, but the results you needed. Trust the process. We get handed the moments, the people, the situations and the challenges that we need in life to be able to learn the lessons that we need to learn.
If you’re feeling like this is resonating with you, please reach out. Don’t wait until summer or until next year or until the kids are older. Now is the time. There is no more waiting. Don’t rely on time that may not even be there in the first place. Take a step. Ask for help. Be dedicated and committed. Draw the line in the sand and tell yourself “no more”. Find what your thing is. Find where you can serve purposefully. Find what sets you on fire that makes you feel good. And then you go and charge after that.
You can create your life. You just have to make the choice to start.
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