I want you to take a second today and think about the people you have come into contact with this week so far; at the grocery store, at work, at the gym, in your own family? How many times did you hear someone complain? How many times did you hear a criticism, either towards you or towards someone else?
Negativity is everywhere; and with how connected we all are on social media, we have to tread very carefully. Because negativity breeds negativity. We can’t avoid it; and it’s not necessarily always a bad thing. Sometimes, some negativity or criticism forces you to look inward, or look differently at a situation; or sometimes, maybe you just need to be called out on your shit so you can become aware of it.
What I want to talk about, though, is the constant negativity. The complaining, the nay-sayers, the people who view the world through a dark lense where it seems everything is bad, everyone is against them and nothing is good. That kind of negativity is going to show up everywhere. And when it does, we have two choices.
Fall into it and join them, or rise above it.
It’s all about how you show up for yourself; it’s about strengthening that mindset and developing the tools you need so that you’re not triggered by this negativity. So that when you’re around it, or someone says something to you, you don’t just go to auto-pilot mode and react; you’re able to slow the process down, reflect on it and take action based on informed choices.
In the latest episode on the Change by Choice show, I break down the 3 steps you need to take to really start rising above negativity in your life. Listen in to Episode 45 here: http://bit.ly/CHANGEbyCHOICEpodcast
So how do we rise above the negativity that is inevitably going to show up in our lives?
Let me preface this by saying it’s not easy; it takes a lot of work. You need a really strong sense of self to move past negativity and not be hurt by it. I’m also not saying it’s never going to hurt, but hopefully with these tips, you’ll be able to understand yourself better and what your triggers are. In doing so, you’re going to be able to move past those negative moments more quickly, feeling better and more peaceful in general. It all comes down to our choices. We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose to strengthen our mindsets so that we can make it through anything with joy and peace. The choice is yours.
1 - Identify what your triggers are. What are you being triggered by? What does it affect you? And why do you care?
Maybe you’ve gone through something in your past where you faced rejection or criticism and it wasn’t a good experience? Maybe it’s an old wound that wasn’t healed fully? Whatever the details may be, the commonality is this: when situations arise that have a similar feeling, similar people or similar tone, all of a sudden one just happens to hit the right chord and you start reacting and behaving not on where you are at presently, but based on that past situation. Sometimes we project this into the future; our minds tell us something negative is going to happen based on the past, but it hasn’t even happened yet. It sounds like, “don’t do that, you might get hurt” or “they might reject you” or “don’t post that, what if someone thinks you’re stupid?”. We spend so much of our lives just protecting ourselves from psychological and emotional harm; the problem is that we become paralyzed by this fear and start playing small in our lives. Because we fear the negativity; we fear those negative emotions, the criticism and the rejection.
When those feelings start coming up for you, think about why that is triggering you. Have you been through something in your past that is resurfacing? Is your fear trying to protect you from going through a similar situation? Find out how you tick and function are; find out what YOUR triggers are when it comes to negativity. Then ask yourself this “why do I care?”
Let me be honest, here; this is not a fun process to go through. But it’s so important to strengthen that mindset around negativity because it’s going to keep showing up everywhere. And if you just allow yourself to get triggered all the time, you’re not in control; you’re on autopilot. Because you haven’t healed the areas that need healing; that’s why you’re continuing to get triggered by the same situations. It takes a lot of reflection, thinking and asking yourself some really tough questions; but the more awareness we have, the better able we are to heal and start moving through it.
Allow yourself to really dig deep with yourself and look at what triggers you; where is it coming from? How are you going to choose to move past it? When you allow yourself to ask those questions and feel those feelings, you’re forced to actually move through it and deal with it. And that’s step one.
2 - Analyze the people around you.
Start to understand that certain people and certain things may not be able to follow you on the path you want to take in life. Really think about the people in your life; how do you feel when you’re around them? How do you behave? How integral are they and does their integrity align with yours? You may have to shift how much time you’re spending with certain people or even cut some out completely if they’re that detrimental to your psychological and emotional well-being.
We can’t control all of the negativity that surrounds us; it’s inevitable that’s we’re going to come across it on a daily basis. But what we can control is who we CHOOSE to surround ourselves with. There’s a difference between your grumpy barista at Starbucks and your grumpy friend who you spend lots of time with and complains all the time. Communicate and be clear with them; speak with compassion and be honest about why you’re needing to make some shifts in your life. And if you can’t cut them out or spend less time with them, then you need to have a conversation with them about how their mindset is affecting you. This part is definitely not easy; but it’s so crucial if you really want to rise above negativity in your life.
3 - Gain a true understanding of what YOU are putting out there.
It’s really easy to point the finger at everyone else and maybe you think you have all these negative people in your life and it’s all their fault. But take a hard look at the output that you’re giving. Are you waking up feeling unhappy? Are you a complainer? Do you criticize others? Do you lack compassion and empathy with your friends, family or even strangers? What’s not feeling aligned there? And what’s happening, on a deeper level, within your life that’s causing you to act that way? That’s the reflection you need to start doing; and I really encourage you to go there. Again, it’s not going to feel good. But you need to hold yourself accountable and look at yourself.
In terms of moving forward with regards to negativity, it’s a slow process. These steps are not easy, and aren’t something you can just fix or heal overnight. It’s a process. Trust in the process.
We have one life. Are you willing to go through life feeling and reacting on autopilot based on how other people are living and reacting? Based on how other people are choosing to live into their lives with negativity, complaining and unhappiness? Do you want to join them? Or do you want to strengthen your mindset, do the hard work and rise above it?
Because negativity breeds negativity and if you don’t actively work on rising above it, you’re going to be part of it. No growth happens there; no joy happens there. Analyze and look at what you have around you. It’s about choosing where you want to place your time. It’s about asking yourself why you’re being triggered by certain situations. What’s coming up for you and why do you care? What needs healing? And it’s about being brutally honest with yourself and catching yourself when you start to project negatively. about yourself.
To rise above the negativity you need to be clear on what you want and how you want to show up in your life. Be clear on the abundance that you want in your life. Sometimes that’s the clarity that we need to get this process started.
For more content and to access of all my free downloads, including a great journalling guide that will really help you in this process, join my free members lounge here: https://charlotte-ferreux.mykajabi.com/store/GCgCFewi