Are You Living in Reactivity?


Are you feeling reactive?

It might feel like….

*You're constantly at the whim of your day?
*You’re stuck in the hamster wheel - always moving but never moving forward?
*You’re constantly putting out fires instead of strategically planning for the future?

Whether you’re a parent, a leader, an entrepreneur or an employee, this applies to all of us. When we are in reactive mode, we aren’t being our best selves; the feelings that come up are irritability, frustration, denial, avoidance, anger. These are feelings we feel shameful about; the feelings that make us go to bed at night not feeling great about day.

Do you have the desire to operate at a different level than you’re operating at now? Most of us would all say yes - especially if we are constantly finding ourselves in that reactive zone. But here’s the more difficult question - are you willing to do what it takes to get there?

Because it’s tough. When we have to slow things down, make changes and shift how we’re’s tough. Our ego takes a hit and that can be really hard. A lot of people don’t push through and go back to the way they’ve always done things because it’s “easier”.

If this is something that resonates with you, I hope you’re going to realize that this is your time. This is the time that something needs to change.

Because it’s affecting you. Reaction is the gateway to misery.

It’s affecting your peace, your mindset, your productivity, your happiness, and yes - even how much MONEY you’re making.

I want to share with you my 3 tips on how you can start moving that needle forward; how you can start moving out of being reactive and into a proactive life. Because with a proactive life, comes greater peace, freedom and happiness.

  1. The first step towards becoming more proactive in your day is by generating more time. The biggest reason we end up reactive, frustrated and stressed is because we feel like we don’t have enough time. The first step in generating more time is by setting yourself up for success in each day. Organize your day and ensure you have a morning routine that is setting yourself up for success. Make sure you have a realistic, time-blocked schedule for the day and for the week. Set yourself goals for the week and be really clear on what your top priorities are. At the end of each day, reflect back on how the day went. Were you realistic in terms of what you wanted to achieve in the day with the time you allotted? What worked for you? What didn’t work for you? Use that information to make shifts for the next day.

  2. Step two is about reflection. Ask yourself what feelings have come up when you’re in that reactive, stressed zone? Identify those feelings and write them down. We need find the courage to stop running away from the things that don’t feel good because in those feelings, the truth lies. You need to be clear with yourself in order to go from reactive to proactive. The second half of this is to analyze those feelings. Is there a time of the day that you tend to feel more stressed? Is there a fundamental system that is missing? When are you feeling more unsupported? We can’t always make things change overnight, but awareness is key to beginning to put those pieces together that we can implement.

  3. Voice what you need in a way that’s going to get you the result that you want. Once you have an understanding of what you need and where you’re falling short, ask yourself if there’s somebody in your life that you need to have a conversation with. Be vocal and ask for the things you need changed or supported in. Come from a place of grace and vulnerability, not frustration and anger, and be sure to extend the benefits beyond yourself; speak of how these changes or supports will benefit the bigger picture (the household, the organization, the business, etc.).


I’ll leave you with a few things to remember.

Things don’t change overnight. But holding yourself accountable and getting back in the driver’s seat is the first step. Trust in the process. You’ll know it’s working when you go to bed at night feeling a little more relaxed, a little more peaceful, a little more in control.

And if you’ve been trying to implement all of these strategies, time and time again, and still nothing has changed, then I would encourage you to look at the bigger picture. Are you in the right job? Are you in the right relationship? Perhaps there is a bigger issue to be dealt with.

But here’s the great part - you’ve started to do the work. You started to dig in and have those conversations and ask yourself those difficult questions and you’re well on the way to making those positive changes and figuring out what your true path is. And that takes huge courage - courage to step outside of the norm and into the next level of success.

To listen to this podcast or others, head over to Change by Choice

If you haven’t already, download my free gift here for some simple, easy steps to help you eliminate stress and generate more peace in your life.

And remember, your desired life is just one choice away. And how we change, is through just one choice. One step at a time.