Is The Fear of Loss Stopping You From Moving Forward?

I’ve been on quite the health journey over the last couple months. I’m playing around with different foods and eliminating certain foods and adding in others. I’m feeling amazing and really feel like my sugar addiction has taken a backseat (which is amazing!).

It’s funny, though, because before I really jumped into these changes, I had a few moments of fear. Part of me didn’t want to give up those foods. Part of me didn’t want to make any shifts or incorporate new ways of doing things because I was so attached to the way I was operating. For years now I’ve started my day with a protein shake. Every single day, no exceptions. I was almost addicted to it and I really felt like I could never start my day without it. For you, maybe that’s coffee? So when I decided I wanted to play around with my eating schedule and routine, giving up my shake in the morning and moving it to the afternoon was scary because I really felt like I couldn’t function without it. But a couple of days in and I realized I was totally fine. I was totally fine.

It’s amazing what happens when you realize that you don’t “need” anything; that is beautiful, healthy control.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve wanted to do something or make a change or take some action….But the mere thought of what you could possibly LOSE in the process stops you dead in your tracks?

In this episode, we tackle what some of those fears are that come up for us when we feel like we’re going to lose something in the process of making a change or reaching a goal. I’ll share a few tips on how you can actually start tackling those fears and how you can gain more confidence in your ability to push through those fears so that you can start living the life you really want.

Because on the other side of those fears? Is your desired life.

Check out Episode 58: Is the Fear of Loss Stopping You From Moving Forward on itunes, Spotify or Podcast Addict.

To start, you need to really identify two things. First - what are your working towards? What are your goals? What are the changes you want to make? Maybe it’s around your finances, your career, your relationships, your health. Wherever you are at, write down some of these goals or shifts that you would want to make in your life.

Next, identify what is coming up for you that’s holding you back? Specifically, what is coming up for you that you’re afraid to lose? Maybe you’re afraid to give up certain foods or you’re afraid to go to the gym because it’s uncomfortable and intimidating; maybe you want to leave your job but you fear giving up having access to certain freedoms that come with the money you earn at that job. Maybe you’re afraid giving up a certain lifestyle or certain people. Get clear on exactly what those fears are that are holding you back. I want you to be brutally honest here; no one else is going to see or hear your fears but you. You don’t have to share them with anyone; but you’re never going to push past them until you stop avoiding and you start acknowledging.

Because here’s the thing: on the other side of those fears is your freedom. You choosing you and being able to control your life. That’s healthy control and that’s freedom.

Start to write down what you fear losing in order to get to those goals that you have. Write them all down and then categorize them by “fear factor” (most scary, moderately scary, least scary). It’s important here to write down ALL the fears you have, no matter how small (like having to give up putting sugar in your coffee, for example).

It’s all a mental game; in our minds, we have placed importance on certain things and we’ve convinced ourselves that in order to be happy or feel a certain way, we need to have that thing in our lives. We’ve placed so much attachment on that thing and as soon as we don’t have it, we have convinced ourselves we just won’t feel happy. Part of this is getting ourselves away from needing those external factors to fill us up; we have everything we need inside of us to have peace and happiness in our lives.

So how do we get away from this attachment and move past the fear? You start small and you practice. Focus in on one of the fears from the “least scary” category and start to make small changes. It’s about building up consistency and building up your confidence that yes, you can make these changes and you’re perfectly fine. I’m not saying it’s always easy, even with those less scary fears, but the more you do it and the more consistent you stay, you start to lose that attachment. You begin to realize that you can still be happy and fulfilled without it in your life. And you strengthen your mindset and you feel better about yourself in the process because your choices are in alignment with your goals. So you do it again. And again. And each time, you get more confident and feel better and better.

Start going through your lists and maybe you tackle something on that moderately scary category; maybe you jump to the scary list. We might be talking about the fear of loss in your life but this can apply to anything you’re doing. Practice builds the muscle and before you know it, you realize that you don’t need to be attached to anything. However you want to design and create your life, you’re capable of doing it. Make sure that you always trust the process and have the right support systems, information and knowledge in place to really set yourself up for success.

Here’s my last tip. Whenever you go to a place of loss, immediately ask yourself “what specifically am I going to GAIN?” Really focus in on that; yes, you might lose something, but what is the gain? The moment you connect to that, you’ll feel the benefit of that choice and have the emotional connection to the goal you’re working towards.

Start making those lists; prioritize them and start to tackle the least scary ones first. Build up that muscle and that confidence so that you can start to tackle the scary ones. And always remind yourself what you’re gaining in the process of that loss. It’s so important that we develop the ability to push past our doubts and our fears and the things that hold us back from living our best lives. We have the ability to choose past that. 

I’d love to hear from you; send me a message over on Instagram or  at www.charlotteferreux.com. Let me know what has been holding you back in terms of what you’re afraid to lose in terms of making big choices and changes in life?

Because on the other side of those changes is that desired life you want; the desired relationship, the desired body/health, the desired strength you’ve always wanted in your life. It all comes down to your choices.