I need to be honest with you...the last few weeks, I’ve felt angry. I’ve been triggered in a way that I haven’t experienced in a long time. I obviously won’t share the details, but know that I’ve really been tested with how I choose to show up and how I choose to interact with people based on situations that are affecting those that I love most. (...and breathe lol)
Had this been a few years ago, I wouldn’t have responded or acted in a way that I would necessarily be proud of...perhaps more reactionary. Fight or flight mode would’ve taken over and I am certain I would have said things that weren’t aligned with me being my most true, authentic and BEST self.
Thank god for personal development and all the mindset work I do! I’ve managed to handle the situation with composure and grace and in a way that is truly aligned with my best self. It’s inspired me though to record this podcast.
Not everything around anger is bad. We think it is, because usually when we are angry we react and respond in a way that isn’t aligned with our best selves and leaves us feeling badly about ourselves. But if we can learn to take some space between how we are feeling and how we are reacting, and if we really start to use that fire and frustration to fuel us moving forward, then it can be a powerful thing.
Anger in our lives CAN be a good thing. It can do us some service. In this episode, I want to start to break down how to USE those times where we are triggered, angry and frustrated and channel it in a way that’s going to produce a powerful and positive outcome in our lives. We can turn use those situations that anger us so much and bring some purpose into it; we can use that fire to create the life we want and really stand up for the things we deserve in our lives.
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I want you to start to reflect on your own life. When you start to feel anger and frustration; when your blood starts to boil and you feel triggered and extremely unsettled.
How do you typically react in those situations?
And how do you typically feel afterwards about yourself and the way you handled it?
I want to focus in not so much on those times, but how you can actually USE the fire of that frustration to move you forward in life. Personally, in the times I’ve gotten really fired up about something, it’s actually been a blessing because it shows me what my values truly are. It shows me what I need to protect in my life. It gives me clarity as to where my line in the sand is and what I will and will not stand for in my life. It’s those times that we get so much clarity it’s almost beyond us; it becomes so clear that we are no longer going to tolerate the things that we have been and that we are going to move forward with action.
I think we sometimes get caught up in thinking that we can only be one emotion at a time...we are just angry, or we are just sad. But there are so many combinations that can and should happen. You can be angry and frustrated, but also calm and direct. I always look back to something I was taught by my mentor, Brendon Burchard; he said to always live into your highest self words. Everyday, my job is to choose and to act into those words. For me personally, my three words when it comes to my interactions with other people are: Direct, Calm and Intentional. So when I’m feeling angry and fired up, I pair that and respond in a way that’s aligned with my highest self; I react in a way that is also direct, calm and intentional. It doesn’t mean I’m not fired up or angry; I am just choosing to respond and react in a way that is authentic and true to my highest self.
If you choose into your words with every interaction, not only do you go to bed at night feeling confident and happy with the choices you’ve made, but you can start to really use those situations that bring you anger and frustration to help propel your life forward. Instead of allowing those situations to bring you anxiety and sadness and stress, we can use them to help move us forward because you’re removing yourself from the victim role. You’re putting yourself into a position of control; you create more skill in this area, you build more strength in terms of your voice and you feel so much better about yourself because you’re not just allowing things to happen to you in your life. You’re taking charge of your life and you’re truly in control.
When you take those situations and really take control of them, it helps you develop a stronger sense of self and a deeper understanding of what your values are and what you are willing to stand for. Getting angry and frustrated should never be about losing control and screaming and not acting as your best self (though we have ALL been there). This is about working as hard as you can to be your best and rather than losing control, being FULLY in CONTROL.
You can be angry about something but still be caring. You can be frustrated but still clear and direct. You can be fired up but still have the best intentions for yourself and everyone involved. We don’t have to get to a place where things unravel and get so out of control that we don’t feel good about our choices. I want you to take a step back and think about how you’ve shown up in situations where anger has gotten the best of you? Where could you have acted differently?
Live your most authentic life and use those hard situations to live even more authentically. I hope I’ve given you some actions and inspiration that will help you create more purpose around the elements that have held you back in the past. Think about what words describe the BEST of you and intentionally live into those words day in and day out.
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